How to Listen to Someone Who Is Hurting

How to Listen to Someone Who Is Hurting

Whenever people face bereavement, injury or other kinds of trauma, they need to talk about it in order to heal. To talk, they need willing listeners. Unfortunately, many of us shrink from listening to people in pain. We may feel like we have enough troubles of our own, or be afraid of making matters worse by saying the wrong thing.

Sometimes we excuse ourselves by assuming that listening to people who are hurting is strictly a matter for professionals such as psychotherapists or members of the clergy. It is true that professional people can help in special ways, and provide the suffering individual with insights that most of us aren't able to offer. However, their assistance, although valuable, is no substitute for the caring interest of supervisors, co-workers, friends and others from the person's normal daily life.

It is natural to feel reluctant or even afraid of facing another person's painful feelings. But it is important not to let this fear prevent us from doing what we can to help someone who is suffering

Response to stressful events is an individual process. Not everyone exposed to the same trauma or stressor will react the same way.

You should take measures to address and alleviate your own stress. If you demonstrate good coping skills, you will be a positive role model for the people around you.

Never forget that you are not a counselor. It is important to show empathy for people experiencing difficulty. However, the best way to help may be to offer resources and suggest contacting outside professionals.